Four (4) Rules for Making Hard Decisions

Beware of the Choices you make, for they become the Determinant Matrix of your Life.

Life generally is all about CHOICES and DECISIONS; we’re often faced with decisions such as financial, academic, family, marital, career, business and what have you. We make choices every day whether consciously or unconsciously; reflex decisions that we don’t even give much thought about. In fact, where you are today is the product/consequence of the decisions you took and choices you made in the past, beginning from your conception till date. It even spans to the decisions your fore-parents made before you were even conceived into this world. In essence, decision-making is inevitable and as well, risky and delicate.

Vagabonds on streets today becoming terrorist and constituting nuisance and dangerous threat to the world today didn’t just choose to live their life that way because they wanted to; many times, they were influenced by factors probably beyond them; these factors includes our environment, values, exposure, experiences, values, faith, education, mindset, etc. Our choices are mostly influenced by these factors.
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Someone said:

“Too often, all the information we’ve been given, all the risk we’ve encountered, all the warnings we’ve received from so many different sources actually combines to skew our perspectives so that, effective risk analysis and decision-making becomes more difficult rather than less. “

Knowing that the choice we make will either make us or mar us,

  • How then can we make right decisions when we are faced with situations and unpleasant choices?
  • Are there rules we can follow to guide us from making avoidable mistakes whenever we are poised with unfavorable options to choose from?

These and many more are questions I seek to address so we make best choices in the course of our day-to-day decision-making processes.

  1.  Find as many downsides (as possible)

Finding the downside entails considering everything that could possibly go wrong before going undertaking any activity or forge ahead with a decision; you must weigh every choice and carefully look at all the possible risk, making sure, all lose ends – the downsides that comes along with the decision-making process are properly sealed. We must begin every Decision-making process by asking the following: –

  • What is the worst thing that could ever happen if I take this decision?
  • What is the worst thing that could ever happen if I don’t take this decision?
  • What is the best thing that would happen if I take this decision?
  • What is the best thing that would happen if I don’t take this decision?

Someone puts it this way:

“Nothing is perfect, so work at uncovering whatever hidden warts the thing might have and by removing them, you’ll only make it better still.”

  1.  Protect the downside

At this point, after you’ve identified the downside, your next move will be to protect the downside, every possible lose ends that may limit you achieving your purpose for making a decision, taking every possible precaution so as to achieve your result with minimal or no risk/downside.

In the American Tv series titled “SUITS”, the featuring characters, Mike Ross and Harvey Specter were both involved in a career-shifting law suit and Mike asked Harvey: “What do you do when you have a gun pointed to your head?” and Harvey response was: “You’ll take the gun and point back”. That is what it means to protect the downside. You don’t dwell on assumptions but facts. You cover all lose ends that is capable of drifting you from off your goal.
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  1.  Don’t act on emotional response.

It’s bad to act on impulse or rashly act on a positive emotion; acting on impulse most times can be very dangerous; it makes you wrong choices. You don’t make decisions when you’re angry or under duress or possibly any other influences. You give any decision you’re considering adequate time so as to lose the influences of your first impressions and make sure you’re leaving nothing out and nothing clouds your sense of judgement in the course

  1.  Look at the bigger picture

Look at how the decision would affect other projects and priorities in both short and long term; Look at how it affects your results in the long run.

Ask yourself:

  • If now isn’t the best time to do something what risk (If any) are there in putting the thing to hold for a period of time?
  • If you cannot manage the project in addition to another that is waiting in the wings, you find out which one gets the nod (yes) and why?
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Four (4) Rules for Making Hard Decisions

Beware of the Choices you make, for they become the Determinant Matrix of your Life.

Life generally is all about CHOICES and DECISIONS; we’re often faced with decisions such as financial, academic, family, marital, career, business and what have you. We make choices every day whether consciously or unconsciously; reflex decisions that we don’t even give much thought about. In fact, where you are today is the product/consequence of the decisions you took and choices you made in the past, beginning from your conception till date. It even spans to the decisions your fore-parents made before you were even conceived into this world. In essence, decision-making is inevitable and as well, risky and delicate.

Vagabonds on streets today becoming terrorist and constituting nuisance and dangerous threat to the world today didn’t just choose to live their life that way because they wanted to; many times, they were influenced by factors probably beyond them; these factors includes our environment, values, exposure, experiences, values, faith, education, mindset, etc. Our choices are mostly influenced by these factors.
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Someone said:

“Too often, all the information we’ve been given, all the risk we’ve encountered, all the warnings we’ve received from so many different sources actually combines to skew our perspectives so that, effective risk analysis and decision-making becomes more difficult rather than less. “

Knowing that the choice we make will either make us or mar us,

  • How then can we make right decisions when we are faced with situations and unpleasant choices?
  • Are there rules we can follow to guide us from making avoidable mistakes whenever we are poised with unfavorable options to choose from?

These and many more are questions I seek to address so we make best choices in the course of our day-to-day decision-making processes.

  1.  Find as many downsides (as possible)

Finding the downside entails considering everything that could possibly go wrong before going undertaking any activity or forge ahead with a decision; you must weigh every choice and carefully look at all the possible risk, making sure, all lose ends – the downsides that comes along with the decision-making process are properly sealed. We must begin every Decision-making process by asking the following: –

  • What is the worst thing that could ever happen if I take this decision?
  • What is the worst thing that could ever happen if I don’t take this decision?
  • What is the best thing that would happen if I take this decision?
  • What is the best thing that would happen if I don’t take this decision?

Someone puts it this way:

“Nothing is perfect, so work at uncovering whatever hidden warts the thing might have and by removing them, you’ll only make it better still.”

  1.  Protect the downside

At this point, after you’ve identified the downside, your next move will be to protect the downside, every possible lose ends that may limit you achieving your purpose for making a decision, taking every possible precaution so as to achieve your result with minimal or no risk/downside.

In the American Tv series titled “SUITS”, the featuring characters, Mike Ross and Harvey Specter were both involved in a career-shifting law suit and Mike asked Harvey: “What do you do when you have a gun pointed to your head?” and Harvey response was: “You’ll take the gun and point back”. That is what it means to protect the downside. You don’t dwell on assumptions but facts. You cover all lose ends that is capable of drifting you from off your goal.
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  1.  Don’t act on emotional response.

It’s bad to act on impulse or rashly act on a positive emotion; acting on impulse most times can be very dangerous; it makes you wrong choices. You don’t make decisions when you’re angry or under duress or possibly any other influences. You give any decision you’re considering adequate time so as to lose the influences of your first impressions and make sure you’re leaving nothing out and nothing clouds your sense of judgement in the course

  1.  Look at the bigger picture

Look at how the decision would affect other projects and priorities in both short and long term; Look at how it affects your results in the long run.

Ask yourself:

  • If now isn’t the best time to do something what risk (If any) are there in putting the thing to hold for a period of time?
  • If you cannot manage the project in addition to another that is waiting in the wings, you find out which one gets the nod (yes) and why?

Eleven (11) Questions about Life you must Ask Yourself everyday

As we all come closer to the close of the year, it becomes of necessity to weigh all of our strategies we proposed at the beginning of the year and considers these questions below for any profitable result and intended memorable advancement you so desire out of life at the close of the year.

1.  Were there specific goals you set for yourself this year? What are you doing to achieve these goals?
2.  What is that thing you spend your time most on? And if you could spend an hour doing something, what could it be?
3.  What scares you most in the future?
4.  What does succeeding means to you?
5.  What would make you totally content right now?
6.  What lessons has failures in life taught you?
7.  Between your Dad and Mum, whom are you closer to and had the greatest influence in you?
8.  Do you ever feel most alone? How do you manage it?
9.  What was your most memorable day?
10.  What motivates you to do anything?
11.  If you could travel back in time, what would you like to correct or do differently in your life right now?

Are there other questions you think is of necessity, please leave me a comment below…

Dangers of the Supremacy of SELF

We have the Supremacy of the mind, Supremacy of the Spirit and the Supremacy of Self. When we allow Supremacy of SELF overpower us, ruling over the Supremacy of our Mind and Spirit, that is what result in us beginning to feel depressed, dejected, sad, despondent, fearful. The Supremacy of the mind and Spirit must over-rule the Supremacy of Self.  NO one can quantify the power of the Mind and the power of the Spirit.
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Someone said:

Life’s is a series of outcomes. Sometimes the outcome is what you want; Great! figure out what you did right and keep doing it. While sometimes, the outcome is what you don’t want; Perfect!figure out what you did wrong and don’t do it again. Either way, you WIN if you learn from it!

Some people fail to realize that there are aspect of life we can’t control. Life itself is full of Ups and Downs, but that’s what makes it interesting; that’s what makes it fair! If Life at the moment is going the way you want, perfect! and if it’s not, know that – Time has a wonderful way of showing us what really matters.”

Even though you might not love your job, there is always some aspect of it that you like. Find that nugget and focus on it, along with ways to incorporate it into other aspects of your day.

You don’t have to allow the supremacy of “Self” to reign in you. You must bring your SELF under subjection. Where the supremacy of self reigns without subjection, you find:

  • Self Absorption
  • Self Complacency
  • Self Delusion
  • Self Exaltation
  • Self Flattery
  • Self Nurture
  • Self Pity
  • Self Righteousness
  • Self Thought
  • Self Gratification
  • Self Hardening
  • Self Indulgence
  • Self Justification
  • Self Love
  • Self Management
  • Self Qualification
  • Self Seeking
  • Self Will
  • Self Excuse
  • Self Zealousness

The aspect of life we can control – we control and those beyond our control –  we have to leave. The fact remains:

God reserves the right to Reject or Approve of our good intentions.

Ten (10) Choices for a Successful Life

LIFE is all about “Choices”. In fact, where you are presently now is the sum-total of all the choices you’ve made.

We are defined by our Choices. Show me a man who is successful and I will show you a man who have made choices – both the right and the wrong choices, in spite of the realities of the circumstances they found themselves. It’s not about being right or wrong. It’s about taking a decision and making a choice that you will be able to live with.

Life is like a doubled edged sword:

  • LIFE  –  DEATH,
  • LOVE  –  HATE,
  • ENEMIES  –  FRIENDS,
  • LYING  –  TRUTH,
  • HURT  –  HEAL,
  • FAILURE   –  SUCCESS,
  • CRY  –  JOY,
  • ANGER   –  HAPPY,
  • RIGHT   –  WRONG,
  • RICH   –   POOR,
  • KNOWLEDGE   –   ENDURANCE;

All of these are coincidence of life. They have same letter but they are all separated by our “CHOICES“.

There is a time in which we must firmly choose the course in which we must follow or the relentless of event will make the decisions for us (a life of chance). God chooses what we go through, but we choose where and how we go through.

If we just sit and limit our actions in life to things in this life that possibly nobody will find fault with, we will not do much.

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If we must go far and attain the echelon of greatness, we must make these ten (10) choices at some point in the course of our lives;

1.   Take charge of your attitude.
2.   Have a firm handshake and look people in the eye.
3.   Make it an habit to be nice to people who may never find out.
4.   Don’t allow the phone to interrupt important moment. The phones are for our convenience and not the caller’s.
5.   Be a good winner and a good loser.
6.   Never deprive someone of happiness; it might be all they’ve got.
7.   Remember, no one makes it alone; have a grateful heart!
8.   Don’t burn bridges; you’ll be surprised how many times you’ll have to cross-over.
9.   Live your life so that your epitaph could read: “No regrets”.
10.  Don’t expect life to be fair.

Common “Acceptable” Excuses that kill Dreams

It is commonly reported among the Athenians that: “The Explanation for Failure is Excuse.

One of the easiest things to do in life is to make excuses for not doing what we are supposed to do. Excuses is common among lazy people because they like doing what is seemingly easy and making excuses is one. Look for a man who has failed and ask him why he failed or why he didn’t achieve any feat in life and he’ll give you an excuse – a thousand reasons why he didn’t succeed.

We make excuses for situations we don’t want to be in, things we actually did wrong, times we failed, things we are supposed to do but we don’t want to do. How many times have you told someone “I forgot” when in reality you just didn’t want to do what was asked of you? or “I was busy” when actually, you had to opportunity to make something happen. Making excuses isn’t a good culture and it’s particularly dangerous.

Check out all the notable men in the Holy books (the Bible) that were considered great:

  • Zaccheus (a short man) climbing the tree: He never used “Height”
  • David (a young man) killing Goliath: He never used “Age”
  • Joseph (an illegal immigrant) becoming the Prime Minister: He never used “Status”
  • The Woman with an issue of blood that touched the hem of Jesus garment (with her last strength): She never used “Weakness”
  • The Poor Widow who dropped her last mite: She never used “Poverty”
  • Daniel who was thrown into the Lion’s den: He never used “Death”
  • Job who after much trials, endured until the end that he was double-blessed: He never used “Challenges”

Go to the beginning when Adam and Eve sinned against God in the garden of Eden, and God appeared unto to them, asking why they ran into hiding and whether they’ve eaten the fruit he forbade them not to eat. Instead of Adam and Eve taking responsibilities for the wrong choices they made and make their way right – seeking for forgiveness from God, they plunged into what I call –  the blame-game. They began making flimsy excuses and looking for who to hold responsible for their mistakes. That’s the world we are in, today.

More harm have been done by weak people than by strong people. Most of the problems in the world today has been caused by the weakness of good and not by the strength of evil.

Realistically, the worst part of making excuses is not about the opportunities you did miss, or the money you end up losing, or the relationship you destroyed, or the broken dreams you’ll never get to fulfill or the even the guilt that engulf you afterwards for lying to yourself. It’s about you eventually start believe in the lies, yourself.

Don’t live a life  of any regrets that come from excuses. It doesn’t pay! Don’t believe the lies! Rather, Choose to be free and you’ll discover you will live better afterwards! 

Thirty-two (32) Secrets to get to the Top – Part 1

The Place of God for Man is the Topmost Top; a place of distinction and not frustration.

Looking from where you are right now, Will the boy you were be proud of the man you’ve are?

Life is all about advancements, growth, success, and breakthroughs. In fact, No one can predict to what height you can soar until you flap your wings; For every success, there are secrets; for every success, there are strategies; for every provision, there are conditions. So, I bring to you thirty-two (32) secrets to get the top which if applied, catapults you to any heights you so envision to attain.

  1.   Have a Vision or a Dream

The Holy books (the Bible) quotes:

Where there is no vision, the people perish.

Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines “Vision” as the ability to see something that you imagine; a picture that you see in your mind. It also captures “Dream” as an idea or vision that is created in your imagination, that is unreal; an ideal or goal which one aspires.

Dream has a lot to do with you having a Goal; a direction in life. Every great accomplishment or invention ever created took off from the “mind”. The Mind is very powerful. Someone put is this way:

Shoot for the Moon; even if you miss, you will land in the stars.

  1.  Be Different!

We don’t make difference until we are different! In fact, You and I don’t see things the way they are; we see things the way we are. We don’t have to follow the crowd even when we’re the only one left to decide. Follow your mind! Maintain a life of difference and never any influence your life choices negatively.

  1.  Avoid Jealousy

What we don’t celebrate, we will never attract!

Celebrate success in the life of others rather than be jealous; Life operates like a Time Zone. Because Kenya is two hours ahead of Nigeria does not necessarily mean that Nigeria is slow and neither does it mean Kenya is faster either. Someone graduated at 24, yet waited 5 years before securing a Job; and another graduated at the age 29 and secured employment thereafter. Someone got married and waited 10 years before having a child; but another had baby within one year after marriage. It’s all about Time Zone! We don’t have to be jealous over another’s success.

  1.  Maintain His presence – The God factor.

Every address is good if God is there.

Recognizing the presence of God in whatever we are doing is necessary. God is the author and creator of all things ever created and He remains ultimate Giver of Success and every good thing. The things of the earth may satisfy a home in hour of prosperity; but only the Peace of God can give gladness in times of adversity.

  1.  Maintain Character

Until your character is adjusted, your destiny remains Unestablished!

John Mason made it clear in his book: “Talent is never enough” that Character is the sum total of all our choices. Lack of Character remains the greatest threat to our talent or acquired skill. Character protects our talent. He further made known the four (4) elements of character:

  •   Self-discipline
  •   Core Values
  •   Sense of Identity
  •   Integrity

Character also communicates: Consistency, Choices, Influence, and Longevity.

You may find your way to the top, but only character that can sustain you there. Character shows that who you are and who you appear to be are one and the same, and that is the first key to greatness.

 

Look out for the Second part of Thirty-two (32) Secrets to get to the Top.

Don’t forget to leave me comments below:

Twenty (20) Secrets to get to the Top – Part 2

(Continuation – from )

6.  Have a Sense of purpose

Never you let situations define you. Always commence your day by asking yourself:

  • What do I want?
  • Why do I exist?
  • Why was I created?
  • What is my reason for living?

Whose who live purposelessly ends up, uselessly!

7.  Live by Conviction

Conviction refers to a strong believe or opinion you have for something. You cannot fight for a course you don’t have conviction for. Why terrorist advance today is the strong but myopic believe they have to justify their awful actions.

You conviction is more important than your condition.

8.  Release the Past

You cannot face backward and be found in the front.

If you want to really advance in any area of your live, you must need let be past be. We are not defined by our past but by our present and our future aspiration. The past only limits and deprive us of the present and the future. You cannot the change the past; you can only correct the present and prevent it happening in the future.

9.  Maintain Excitement

Your energy is determined by your Joy. You don’t owe anyone any explanation to be happy. Life is full of excitement; Key into it and find that nuggets that incite your joy and take your mind of every elements that would want to deprive you of your Joy an excitement.

You can think, talk and at yourself into dullness or into monotony or into unhappiness. By the same process you can build up inspiration, excitement and surging depth of joy. Get excited and enthusiastic about you own dream. This excitement is like a forest fire – you can smell it, taste it, and see it from a mile away.

10.  Be faithful

Being faithful is tested in the small things we are entrusted with and doesn’t necessarily have to do with big or large responsibilities. Be faithful in small things because it is in them that all of your strength lies

Being faithful in the smallest things is the way to gain, maintain, and demonstrate the strength needed to accomplish something great. Faithfulness is not doing something right once but doing something right over and over and over and over.

 

Look out for the Part 3 of Thirty-two (32) Secrets to get to the Top.

Ten (10) transforming Nuggets for a Beautiful Life

Number One:

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands at moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands in times of challenges and controversies.

Number Two:

There comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, political, nor popular; but must take it because conscience tells him it’s right.

Number Three:

Our life is the sum total of all the decisions we make everyday and those decisions are determined by our priorities.

Number Four:

Knowledge is not marketable; it is Skill that you market. Skill is not a function of the paper you carry, it is a function of the tactics and the strategies you engage in handling your assignment/duties.

Number Five:

Ideas is the strongest currency in business market.

Number Six:

You are running with a vision; going on a mission; burning with passion. If you do not belong to any of these, life is reduced to a burden.

Number Seven:

The destiny you are not truly committed to can never be actualized.

Number Eight:

Everything about life thrives on the concept of seed and harvest; you can’t get more than you put into it!

Number Nine:

Talent is God-given – Be Humble
Fame is Man-given – Be Grateful
Conceit is Self-given – Be Careful

Number Ten:

Four things you must Learn to do to make your record true:

  • Learn to Think without confusion Clearly
  • Learn to Love your fellow men, Sincerely
  • Learn to Act from honest motives, Purely
  • Learn to Trust in God, Securely.

Parental Upbringing: Why Parents fail.

Have you ever asked why many teenage youth growup to become vagabonds? Have you pondered on what actually is the cause and what actually went wrong in the course of their upbringing? They roam about round on the street carelessly, constituting nuisance to the entire populace. Infact, it is what is responsible for the public violence and terrorism crisis we are experiencing today. Sometimes even when there was sufficient formal education, and good parental care/guidance, you still see some youths end up wasted.
Actually, as it is commonly viewed: Charity begins at home, so also parental failure also spring up from the home. Below are a few elements I think are responsible for children irresponsibility in the world today:

1.  Poor Self Image
Self Image is referred to as one’s conception of oneself. In fact, Wikipedia carefully captures it as the mental picture that is quite resistant to change; Self image depicts not just the default qualities inbuilt in the child, but behaviours learned by him about himself resulting from interpersonal relationships, experiences or even internalizing the judgement of others. Children are very sensitive; they become self aware of their environment as they grow into adulthood. In fact, the self image of a child is seen from three (3) perspective:

  • How do others see me?
  • How do I see myself?
  • How do I perceive how others sees me?

 
Poor self image is a consequence of self-impression of others about one’s self that was built up in the child overtime. When a child has a poor Self-Image about himself, he sees himself as not good enough; it may be by reason some abnormalities he possesses (e.g. body shape, poor mental balance, etc.) which brings about low self esteem and inferiority complex in children. Parent has a lot to do to instilling the right attitude and a good mental picture to this children.

2.  Poor Value System
The kind of value we adopt as parent and translate to our children plays a great role in child upbringing. Value system refers to the set of ideals that governs the child’s behaviour, giving the child self purpose and a good self expression. Poor value system makes a child take impulse-driven choices without proper reasoning, which may result into some consequences.
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3.  Over Protection
Undue restriction of a child’s behaviour by domineering parents is one cause why parents fail in their parental responsibilities to the children. Over protection results from wanting to keep the child safe all the time and indulging the child to such a degree that he becomes so passive to the point that they feel they don’t belong (among their equals) or they’re less of a human.

4.  Insincerity
This plays a major role to the parental failure of children. Insincerity is demonstrated in the quality of not telling the whole truth. Insincerity creates a gap between one’s real aim and one’s declared turns. You see parents makes promises they can’t keep; parents whose words holds no water. The children grows up with this insincere attitude into the society. That is where parental failure finds its expression.

Two (2) Parental Habits We Must Avoid

OVER PROTECTION and DOMINATION are two parental habits every parent must avoid in the course of child training.

#Habits One (1): OVER-PROTECTION

Merriam Webster Dictionary defines OVER PROTECTION as:

an undue or excessive protection or shielding; specifically : excessive restriction of a child’s behavior allegedly in the interest of his or her health and welfare by an anxious, insecure, or domineering parent.

Vocabulary.com went further to say,

Over protection comes from wanting to keep someone safe all the time, and it’s particularly common for a parent to overprotect a child. No mom or dad wants to see their child get hurt, but when they overprotect, they make it impossible for their son or daughter to take the risks that teach them important life lessons.

OVER PROTECTION makes children Self-Centered and Fearful; the Children learn to read their parent emotion and they grow up to lack this Confidence in themselves.

#Habits Two (2): DOMINATION

DOMINATION is referred to as:

the exercise of power or influence over someone or something; or the state of being so controlled.

Parents who often pounce upon every failure in the lives of their children ends up creating Hesitancy, Insecurity, and Fear in them.

Three (3) Most Sensitive Needs of Man

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The Basic need of man are: LOVE, UNDERSTANDING and ACCEPTANCE.

CHARITY (Love) is the greatest of all virtue; It’s a virtue on which the foundation of the whole world rests on. So many people see love as a vulnerability; It makes them look weak. In fact, someone puts it this way:

To Trust, to Love, to Open ourselves to emotional communication with other people is to run the risk of being hurt. If we are hurt, we can do two things:

 

  • Build a thick protective shell or scar tissue to prevent being hurt again or we can
  • Turn the other cheek, remain vulnerable and go on living creatively.

To be Creative or to live Creatively, we must be willing to be a little Vulnerable; We must be willing to be hurt a little, if necessary, in creative living.

The Most devastating blow one human being can inflict upon another is Disapproval. The more a person loves us, the more important it is for us to seek some areas in his/her life where we can show our Approval (acceptance).

UNDERSTANDING and ACCEPTANCE are all consequences of LOVE. Where there is Love, you don’t have to beg for Acceptance or have any form Misunderstanding; That does not in any way rules out misunderstanding which may surface once in a while in any human relationship; frictions is bound to exist if two or more people must coexist.