I’m not sure how many of unexpected life changes you have experienced, but I’ve experienced enough to say, that life is absolutely unpredictable, in both ways; the good and the bad. The good is great, and I wish it was happening all the time; the bad, well, let’s say it’s always a learning curve.
Whatever the unexpected change, we need to adjust. We don’t really have much choice here, but it is entirely up to us to decide how we’re going to adapt; either as a victim, or to be in charge.
And by no means, it’s going to be easy
So how many times do we need to adjust?
I don’t even want to attempt to count, but there’re three times in life when obviously we struggle more than ever;
Terrible two;
Teenage years;
Midlife crisis.
In all these situations it’s like going out of a certain ‘comfort zone’ in our lives into the next one; unknown and so absolutely uncertain, where we can only judge from observing others who already have been there.
The crisis is our rebellion against an unavoidable change; unavoidable, because it’s coming, either we like it or not.
Of course, asa two years old toddler, our understanding is zilch, so our rebellion is the only tool we have, and many of us used it to our full advantage. Maybe, if parents understand why their perfect angels suddenly turn into horrible creatures, driving everyone around them nuts, this would help the process become less dramatic. (I’m not a hundred percent sure though, as I came up with the theoryafterour family survived that stage.)
Teenage yearsare extremely difficult not just for parents, but even more for teenagers. Suddenly you’re not a child any more, but you’re not an adult yet. Suddenly what made you happy before doesn’t work now. You understand so much more, but not enough. You want to find a safe place for yourself, but there’s none; you’re out of your safety zone. Where do you fit in? Where do you want to fit in?
You start thinking independently of your known authorities, but what examples do you follow?
Based on my extensive experiences with three girls and different challenges with each of them in their teenage years, I came to the realization, that these difficult times are a ‘preparation time’ for young people to learn how to cope with their adult lives. Probably that’s when they need our guidance more than ever, but it’s very important how we present it; as an advice or as a set of rules to follow.
What about if we put some balance into it, and the rules will have a lot of advice and explanation attached?
What abouta midlife crisis?
You can postpone it if you don’t have time to go through it when you’re around forty. And then you may think that it doesn’t concern you, that you’re managing your life so well.
But in most cases the timewillcome when you start questioning yourself; what you have or haven’t achieved so far, what happened to your dreams, what happened to the person you used to know to be you.
It could be a very daunting experience to realize that you would change your life circumstances if you could.
Now, I don’t imply that it’s a good idea ‘to rock your boat’ on a first impulse, but I know that if you’re not happy, nobody around you will be happy neither.
Suffering and sacrificing yourself for any course will rather have more negative results than positive; it will suffocate and slowly keep ‘eating’ you away.
We DO have the right to be happy, and do whatever makes us happy. And nobody has the right to take it away from us, unless we let them.
If you make a well thought thorough decision to change something in your life, something that will increase your happiness, I strongly believe we owe it to ourselves, regardless of what others think about it. After the initial uprising, it will bring harmony and balance back to our existence.